Shopping with wife

Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go
shopping.
Dear Mrs. Murry,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with
us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences
over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO

Re: Complaints

15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
tampons section.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
on lay-by.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he
assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!
And; last, but not least:
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"